It's Time to Feel.

It's been a year now. One whole year of emotional denial. Specifically, in denial about the possibility that I am, in fact, not happy with the way I feel everyday before getting out of bed. Conditioned to stuff my thoughts and feelings into a tiny, yet now overflowing box inside me. How, you might wonder? Work, school, my boyfriend and my friends was my list of priorities; no mention of my name or personal reflection. The time or effort to actually feel what's going on inside me was too much to be asked of. Rather, I'd simply think about how much I had to do today and tell myself, "I'm okay," "I'll be fine," "Just wait until tomorrow to deal with it." For the longest time, tomorrow never managed to make an appearance. Until it did. A few weeks ago was actually my tomorrow.

Breaking point, reached. That day was detailed by a massive implosion involving my internal securities and repressed emotions. All of the previous year's repressions surrounded me and slammed me into a corner. They demanded to be seen. To be heard. To be valued....that day was a long, hard day.

That day, I made the phone call to our local Foundry. The Foundry is a clinic for youths ages 12-24. There are doctors and counsellors available for any physical or mental concerns just a phone call away (Foundry telephone number, Kelowna location: 236 420-2803). I now have an appointment set up with one of their amazing doctors for the end of this month.

Despite the blue vibe this story has, a lesson is hidden beneath all of it: It is more than okay to feel your feels no matter who (including yourself) says otherwise. In fact, it is an important factor in life to address your emotions the minute you feel them. Tossing them aside and forcing yourself to forget them is not a healthy option. Eventually, they will resurface. No matter how good you are at stuffing them in that, tiny but soon to be overflowing box.

- Crystal xo